Tuesday, August 30, 2011

You're not better, just lazier.

I'm starting to get angry at the whole "attached parenting" or "peaceful parenting" or "natural parenting" that is real popular right now.
The people who belong to such groups or label themselves part of those groups have this holier then thou attitude that really pisses me off.
I hate it.

For example breast feeding.
A large majority of these mothers breast feed.
Not all, but most.
And they always act like they are better than formula feeding mothers.
You're not better.
Yes you're doing the natural thing,
Yes you are giving your child immunities, and antibodies.
Yes yes yes, I KNOW "breast is best"
We as mammals are suppose to breastfeed.
Its why we have boobs.
(yeah not just sexy fun bags)
(though they are fun to play with )
But not all mother CAN breastfeed.
Sometimes its a medical condition, others its an environmental issue, and sometimes its mental.
(No I'm not saying formula feeding mothers are mental patients)
For example, an undiagnosed tongue tie can cause and improper latch making it so milk never comes in.
And even if milk does come in, nursing can be full of pain.
Or
A mothers family tells them they can't do it, that its gross or weird, that they don't make enough milk
(even when they do)
They didn't get to hold their child soon enough after the delivery, so the needed hormones were never released
Or
The mother is super modest and the thought of having to whip her boobs out to feed her child scares her
Maybe the mother was sexually abused and the act brings back memories.
Or
Maybe they just didn't want to.
That is the great thing about the modern age.
we have choices.

The point I'm trying to make is you don't know.
You aren't living that women's life.
You aren't her.
YOU DON'T KNOW.
So.
DON'T JUDGE

In fact, the way I see it is (most)breast feeding mothers are lazy.
(In case you don't know, I breastfeed and yes I am lazy)
Breastfeeding mothers don't have to clean and sterilize bottles every time they feed their child.
Breastfeeding mothers don't have to count scoops and measure water.
Breastfeeding mothers don't have to listen to their child fuss while they fix a bottle.
Breastfeeding mothers don't have to run to the store at 12 in the morning because they forgot to buy formula last time they went to the store and had hope that the last of the formula would last till the morning.
But formula feeding mothers do.
They do ALL that, and more that I don't know about because I don't formula feed.

So, breastfeeding moms....
Get off your fucking high horse!
You're not better, you're just lazier.
(please exclude mothers who try for months, through numerous problems, to breastfeed, those women are awesome imo)

Which leads me to Example two, Co-sleeping/bed sharing.
So you sleep with your child.
They rest their little heads close enough to hear the soft sound of your breath.
Maybe even close enough to hear the gentle pitter patter of you heart beat.
And I'm sure you've read countless "studies"
(Or should I say an article about an article about the actual study)
You know that co-sleeping has its great benefits.
And that its been done throughout time.
Who gives a flying rats ass?
Maybe they are heavy sleepers and don't want to roll onto their babies.
Maybe they take prescription pills.
Maybe they want to have sex without feeling awkward because the baby is in the same room.
Maybe they just want to stretch out in their own beds.
(god I wish)
Again.
You don't know how the other mother feels about it.
You don't know.
so
DON'T JUDGE!

And stop lying.
You don't co-sleep/bed share because its "better"
Co-sleeping mothers don't have to slowly and carefully put their child to bed every night.
Co-sleeping mothers don't have to get out of bed at night when their child wakes up.
Co-sleeping mothers don't have to work hard put their child BACK to sleep once they wake up in the middle of the night.
Co-sleeping mothers don't have to check the room because they are afraid the baby monitor isn't working.
Mothers of children who sleep in cribs do all this and MORE.
(again I don't know because I co-sleep)

So, co-sleeping mothers.
Are you on a fucking high horse too?
Get down, because you're not better, you're lazier!


I could go on and on and on.
Baby food, Discipline, cloth diapering.
But its pretty much the same idea.
Really the point of this whole blog post is.....
We are all moms, no matter HOW we mother our child(ren).
No matter HOW the child is fed, as long as you're feeding them your a good mom.
If your child sleeps by themselves in a crib or with you in bed, as long as they have a place to sleep you're doing good.
If you kid is provided for and loved you are doing a good job.
So keep up the good work Mommas, Mommies, and Mums!